My arch nemesis…

OMG, you see this toilet?

 I hate this toilet, with a passion. When we got the house we realize every toilet in the main house was inoperable. When I looked at them it appeared that the previous homeowner needed to fix the valves and flappers in all of them. Ever single flapper instead of replacing the chain she had jerry rigged them using whatever she had on hand, twist ties from garbage bags or fishing line, until they worked. I’d fixed these before so I put my name down as the “person doing the job” on our nifty excel spreadsheet of tasks and put my “budget” as $15 per toilet. I put down on my home depot list three valves and thought this will be so easy, while Jedd is exposing the brick I’ll knock these out in 20 minutes. So fast forward to Home Depot and I’m standing in the toilet repair section and I ask myself why do I have three toilet valve things on this list, the basement toilet works just fine. So I grab two valves only to get to the house later and realize there are four toilets in the entire house, three upstairs and the basement, so I did need three valves. Add 1 toilet repair kit to the Home Depot list.


I get into it and it appears that whoever installed all the toilets did not pay attention to the part in the directions where they say hand tighten the valves, specifically the directions warn against tightening with a tool. As a result I had to get Jedd to use all his manly muscles to undo every single toilet with a wrench. It was a pain. Once that was done I fixed the toilet in the spare bathroom in less than five minutes. Flush, flush, very satisfying, I can just envision crossing that task off of The List.

I go to the master bathroom (all the toilets are the same) and get to work. I get it all done and realize the stupid flapper sits slightly off, so I really need a longer flapper or something weighted down. Add a flapper to the Home Depot list.

Several days later I go to fix the half bath toilet, get it all done and flush flush. I leave patting myself on the back and come back to collect the trash with a garbage bag and there is water all on the floor. Frantic I’m like what can it be, flush flush and realize that the drip was coming from the brackets that actually mount the bowl and tank together. So I add that to my Home Depot list.

Fast forward three days I return to the house and change the bolts, flush flush, and the water is still getting out of those bolts. Now I realize it’s the plastic piece I saw and thought about getting but passed because I thought it was the bolts. Ugh I have to go back to Home Depot. Go upstairs and change the flapper only to realize the one I have now is too wide and I break the clips in frustration so now I can’t take the thing back. The following night I go to home depot at 9 pm only to realize they don’t have the plastic piece I’m looking for but they do have a good flapper solution.

Tuesday I change the flapper upstairs and if the water valve thing I changed a week ago isn’t working. I ended up just taking the one from downstairs and putting it in the master. All the while thinking to myself thankfully I can take my frustration out on the plaster I have to remove from the stair way wall. So now I have to add another repair kit to the Home Depot list.

But now after numerous trips to Lowes/Home Depot I'm happy to say all 3 toliets work without leaking or running. Anyone need a toliet repaired at their house? I'm a pro and my hourly rate is low, ha!